Follow your heart….you could never go wrong…
May 7, 2007Wow! At last I’m writing a blog again….:) well.since my last blog, lots had happened….still here in manila and loving every minute of it….
well spent most of my life in iloilo, I never thought I could love another place (aside from Davao)…Only been to manila twice before for field trips and I never adored the place..maybe because of the violence portrayed in TV that could be sumtimes are shocking to us, probinsyanas and probinsyanos…when u say manila..violence, poverty, pollution immediately comes to mind…
After graduating college, being a fresh grad (total dreamer and idealist)…I set my mind to find work and practice my craft…well my first choice was cebu since its more laid-back and peaceful compared to manila…i started to set my mind to work in cebu…but then as i had expected, I have to put off that plan since being an only child as well as a daddy’s girl, means I have to go through hell first b4 I could ever think of fulfilling that plan…But I think one of the major reasons I decided to stay and work first in iloilo is that being the only child that I was, I can’t also bear to leave behind my mamee and my fafee…I will miss them terribly….and so I did what they want..stayed behind then took the Civil service exam..heavens opened when I passed the Civil service exam as topnotch…Then my parents and aunts suddenly had this crazy idea that I could fulfill my dreams as a government employee…well they have to realize that the era where working in goverment was considered ideal and glamorous has already died…together with the marcos regime…
So staying on Iloilo and fulfilling their plans made me so miserable…being a positive thinker and a naturally happy person (even my face say otherwise), I never thought I could be that miserable….its like everyday, I know there’s sumthing I am set out to do but cant do anything about it…add to that, my dad got sick so have to put off any plans..then I seriously took care of my dad, it was one of those moments in life where I have seen my own fear and strength….I had the fear of losing my dad and I had discovered my strength of putting it all together for him. I love my dad and I cant bear the thought of losing him…I see to it that I was there for him and I took care of him..but I know I couldnt abandon my dreams. I made sure he was ok b4 thinking of pursuing my plan again to work far away from my family. Later on some would consider this selfish but I’m not just thinking for my dad, but for my mom also. I have to make a decision for all of us not just for my dad or my mom or me alone..I have to decide what’s best for all of us.
I was always a passive rebel…meaning a rebel who takes calculated risk….I am not like those who do things without thinking…hehe…when i rebel..I think about it many times… but to others, they look like things done without much thought…well maybe because some of the things I have done are not expected of me..well…u cant always stereotype sumone….when I make a decision, I always give much thought about it….and I always stand by my decisions..I always try to..thats y I dont regret most things…
After graduationit was 2 years of misery for me…then working in government its like torture..I love most of the people there but i didnt like my work…so i was determined to work in cebu…but my mom decided to also work in cebu..so i immediately decided to work in manila..hehe…then more trouble came..the money i saved…i lent it to my mom who i later known has no intention of paying….mothers know best…roar!then came my bag-throwing moment and instant flee to bacolod where i had exeprienced one unfrogettable moment in y life…:) why is it that when i do something rebellious it always ends up good and phenomenal..haha…
Well…to cut long story short, we went to cebu to sell my very old computer who thankfully to my cousins and aunt, they bought it with just a disgusted face..haha…the comp was very old..but hey its working fine…still remembered my sosyal cousin’s horrifed face..haha…well they were gracious enough to buy it and never complained much…I know my dad had a hard time accepting the fact that I will be away for long, but Being intelligent that he was I know he understood. And now I thank him for being strong and brave for my sake.
Then my mom and my aunt were busy planning about my career…As I am counting my days to freedom, they were busy contacting friends and acquaintances to find work for me thinking I would easily abandon any crazy plans of going to manila…but they forgot that I was stubborn and independent…and so the day I left for manila..I cant wait to check in to my flight..haha…even at the airport while saying goodbye to my mom, I fear that my tita would suddenly call or suddenly turn up to stop me of my “evil” plans….paranoia….
And I cant forget that first day I rode a plane to freedom…its like I have literally flew to the gates of heaven……
